Don't trun on the Lights

We wrestle with darkness.

And fight the winter

With gaudy lights

And glittery trinkets.

But we always remember our demons.

 

We remember the day

We lost those diamonds

In our bones

When Christmas lights mingled

With a funeral

So many of the old

Leave us at Christmas

So many sick and young

Pass in the dark days.

 

 So we carry on

Struggle to buy gifts

Memories of innocence

Before our beloved left us

And we took them for granted.

 

If we never turned on the lights

And embraced the darkness

Spring would still come

We would still heal

We would be reborn

And make our own diamonds.  

Finding a new Grace

Summer smog disappeared from my mind,

And winter made me think,

The world went to blue, black

And grey.

 

The shock came suddenly

I was just me

Alone, no beautiful people

No tribe.

 

Then spring came in winter

The clouds chased each other

Like my mind

After the next high.

 

Turbulence made the still

I realised the bright blue sky

Myself and a storm

Were happiness.

 

So let me sing about experience

Let me find an earnt grace

The song will be as sweet

As the toxic tune of false happiness.

 

Black Friday

The weather is violent.

Like the bargain hunting

So let’s stay inside

Make Black Friday our own

And examine sadness

In our souls.

 

Don’t compete over screens

Or post shinny goods

But look for the diamonds

That were in your bones.

 

Write poetry

And think

Read dusty books

Full of wisdom

From the old worlds

And utter dark prayers.

 

So make Black Friday

A day on your own,

Make friends with your true self

And forget all you bought.

Love all you are.

 

 

 

Chemical Babylon

I hardly moved

Out of my hometown

And I found Chemical Babylon

I found true love,

With no one in particular

No work involved

Just swallowed a pill

For every ill

In my soul.

 

And that muddy field

In the cold

Could have found California.

I took a selfie

Of a perfect moment

With a stranger.

 

One day it all meant

Nothing

My spite and ambition.

The negativity went

On a Saturday night

Then came back

Like a monster on Wednesday.

 

And all the soldiers of pleasure fell

They went from beautiful to sad

They only found true love in a pill

Then found themselves in pits.

 

They turned form my heroes

To victims

And then I found a life

My songs were all of experience not innocence

Chemical Babylon fell.

 

 

 

The End

I can’t be on the planet

You live on,

I can’t stare at the same sky and clouds.

The hate is so

My heart ponds

To even hear your name.

 

Yet my eyes grow blacker

And a part of me wants you

And I just feel shame.

You’re a hacker

For my soul.

 

Yet I know the destruction,

We wreak on each other’s lives

We argue like a war

And get mad at everything

Malcontents who are

Looking never to move on

Never to thrive.

 

If I stay here I am stuck

On this big ball in the universe

And if I go the story ends

I was taken

My soul has gone

My mind in reverse

So I leave here.

A wasted life

Alive or not

I loved you.

The Diamond Geezer

He wears a logo

Of a diamond,

Scared into his skin,

He knows he’ll never,

Afford a real one

But his arm will hold the image

Until he jumps off

This journey called life.

 

Doodles with every dream,

Day dream and heartache

Whimsy and fashion covers

His fleash.

His tailored hair

And a disk in his lobe

Show’s he’s vain enough

To take some pain

For vanity.

 

He wears amour

To show and hide and what he is

For every doodle

Tells a story

Of what he loved last week

But scribbles over a soul

And when he wants to shed a life

He’s not a snake,

He can’t shed his skin.

 

 

Life paralysis

Lines go blurred

See the same tress

The same faces

The same irritations

The same secrets

Buzzing round my tired head.

 

And I notice the same details

The smokers outside work,

Sharing the same secrets,

That we’ll all know next week

And they talk in surnames

About sex and drugs

And poverty.

 

The words on the screen

Bleed into each other

And the words come faster

To strangers I’ll never meet

 

The secrets come further to the top,

The darkness bleeds into the light

And nearly get blurted to my

Imagined enemies.

My thoughts are the only evil

In my tiny life.

 

Walk home in the humid dark

And see the same faces

The same sodium light

And people with life

Love and laughter in the pub

The tiny skirted students

And the scruffy, hopeful lads

Starting their life.

 

Life paralysis

So many things to love

But the numbness suffocates

Any hope, love or fear

And wandering through

Hoping for an afterlife

That may come in all the colours,

If only I could see in this one.

 Sleepwalk through another night

And wide awake through the night.

 

The only Hell I make is mine

Tomorrow I will do the same

Live out banality out of fear

Stay tired,

Stay a zombie,

 

stay still

 

and forget to live.