Saturday, 25 February 2017

My Pet Ex

I used to pay for the crap you needed,
feed you,
pet you, tell you I loved you
even when you made me forget
what love can be,
and it's wasn't with you.

You are my pet ex,
and now you're feral
and I watch you mess up
half gleeful,
half pitying you.

And you'll play either
wounded animal
or knight on a horse,
you'll show some mug,
your big blue eyes
like a vicious dog
disguising yourself as a family pet.

In my mind, I'm dragging you around
on a lead you so desperately need.
I dream about you
in technicolor
and then wake up

Sunday, 12 February 2017

Back at the Battleground

Kayleigh and Alex walked into chaos.

Bruce and his crew had bright green tee shirts on, they had slogans printed on them that said "Callum the Killer" "Bruce the Bruiser and other idiotic slogans. Heavy metal blasted from speakers and Kayleigh recognised the lyrics, they words were,

"If we sing along, a little fucking louder, to a happy song, I know I'll be ok."

It was one of her favourite songs before the disaster she would listen to it before work

Umbrellas and baseball bats were flying around and a vicious zombie kill was taking place.

Brenton was buzzing.

"Go lads, go"

He was shouting.

"Come into the office, we might have a deal ladies"

Kayleigh and Alex walked into the office, Lauren was already there, her twisted mouth had a small smile and for once her long, straight hair was pulled back from her pale face.

"I looked at the CCTV and ladies, even though you both killed two pillars of this office they were zombies"

"So we have our job back"

Asked Alex,

"Not quite, I want a number from you ladies."

"Oh yes"

"You've got Lauren to thank, I want the magic number from that phone,, what's his name, The Power Guy".

"I'll talk to Alex in private first."

Said Kayleigh, with unusual confidence.

"I thought you'd say that, so I have a deal"

Just then a zombie burst through the glass wall, Kayleigh and Alex killed him quickly and cleanly and dragged them out of the small office quickly.

"I know how good you are at killing the zombie thing so I made you some tee shirts and you can be in the second team of zombie killers."

Brenton proudly got some hen night, hot pink, Hen night polo shirts and in comic sans was written,

"Lady Killerz"

The three girls rolled their eyes in total unison.

"Look, Alex at the introductory  "Let's make friends ceremony you said your favorite colour's blue, so look what it says.

"Mental Murderer"

And Kayliegh, you've got that first aid certificate, so yours says"

Brenton held up the shirt proudly

"The Nurse"

And Alex, this is my favourite,

"Loopy Lauren"

"Now ladies, you'll be on the second team, cleaning up and second in line for defence."


Shouted Lauren

Bruce came smashing through the glass, he roared in everyone's faces, Lauren, Alex and Kayleigh killed him.

Brenton looked pale,

"Well done ladies, sod it I need you, welcome back."

Techno now blasted through the floor, but nobody was dancing. Everyone was smacking each other.

Alex, Kayleigh and Lauren took charge

"Everyone calm down"

There were 3 more zombies who used to be on the phone. Alex turned to Brenton as snarled,

"They did a good job"

Brenton became quiet. Lauren sat down at her desk and opened a notebook, Brenton looked over her shoulder.

There were handwritten notes and diagrams, she started to write. Lauren was writing down patterns in the zombie's behaviour and trying to work out what people into zombies.

"Lauren that's a really good idea."

Said Brenton, Lauren was shocked at the praise and felt very uncomfortable with being praised by her boss.

"So what do you think it all means" asked Brenton.

Lauren shrugged her shoulders even though vivid 3 d pictures were forming in her mind and explanations were streaming to her.

Breton tried to understand,

"Lauren, you got you mates jobs back, you're making this book, I know how clever you are, you just need to talk to us, we're all on the same side now, and you look better with all that hair out of your face."

Praise from anyone in authority was incredibly unfamiliar, it was strange that someone in authority respected her because she had no respect for authority.

"And the number"

"Lauren said quietly, you need us, what can you do for us?"

Brenton walked off, and decided that love bombing may not work on Lauren and he would need another plan, he wanted this call centre to be the only branch listening to complaints about broken high heels and jeans that should have been ripped came perfect in the country, zombies may even bring promotion.

Thursday, 2 February 2017

A Holiday in The Sun

"And we have a few zombies out at "Coztford" so get those weapons ready if you're going to that lovely neck of the woods."

"Oh dear."

Growled Kayleigh's dad,

"We'll have to get Mad Micky to get his gun so we can get you back safely, Kayleigh, get on your moby".

Kayleigh rang Mad Mick and Alex felt a little better about her journey to the pretty village.

The weather carnage had finished and unfamiliar blue skies opened up. The car sped by zombies and people were just a movie through glass to Alex, a car journey with a large man and the lovely familiar Kayleigh made Alex feel safe, a feeling that was becoming rarer every day.

At the end of a path "Mad Mick" was stood with a long gun, the crew ran towards Mick as he flanked them while they walked up the muddy lane.  They got to the rambling farmhouse into a kitchen.

"Kayleigh, what happened"?

A large curly haired woman exclaimed

"Mum it was horrible, I had to kill Jenny

"She saved my life, she's great"

Alex talked with real emotion, and that had been rare since the disaster.

"Alex hasn't got anyone, can she stay for a bit?"

"Of course, she looks like she needs some love."
Kayleigh's dad interrupted
"But we've got the Smiths mob in the main bedroom, we can't feed all these people, or fit them all in."

""But cousin Billy feeds us!

"And I can pay my own way, I don't take up much room"

Alex interrupted.

"Well if you don't mind a corner and you give up some money you can stay."

Growled Kayleigh's dad.

A big family dinner fed Kayleigh's stomach and the company woke up her soul, Mad Mick kept this large tribe safe.

"Bloody hell Alex, it's 10 o clock"

Exclaimed Kayleigh.

Alex looked at her phone,

"There's a missed call from work"

And then Kayleigh looked at her phone,

"Me too".

"Alex you ring"

Alex looked around the small, spare room, the house felt full of refugees but happy refugees.  The family seemed so loving that now there was an emergency there was a loving crew around them.

"OK, said Alex, I'll ring work"

Alex was nervous as the soothing but banal hold music looped, eventually she got to talk.

"Hello Brenton"

Said Alex.

"Can you come in today?, I'm hoping Kayleigh will get back to me also".

Alex's mind whirred quickly, yes and no flipped through her mind,

"OK, I'll come in"

She pressed the screen on her mobile and looked at Kayleigh,

"Brenton wants to see you."