Tuesday, 7 March 2017

The Second coming of horor

"Alex, are you going back to your flat."

Alex thought about it.

"Can I stay with your lot?"

"I'll talk dad, round, we need money to keep things going so pay your way and you'll be doing us a favour, what about your clothes."

"I'll go back now and get my stuff."

The girls got on the bus and watched the zombie kills outside, the sight was no longer shocking and the girls were just relieved it wasn't them doing the killing. The summer had gone from thundery to beautiful that just made all the violence look unreal.

"Our stop."

Said Kayleigh,

"Brolly at the ready."

They killed a man and a woman with grit and determination.

Kayleigh let herself in in her small bottom floor flat, she walked into her kitchen and saw her zombie husband banging at the window. The man she had declared she would love forever had half a face, with maggots eating out of his eyes, she had killed him once and now she would have to kill him again. The small lawn where she could picture her children playing was wrecked from where he had climbed his shallow grave and was now on a mission to manically kill anyone in his way, and now she had to kill him again. He smashed through the window so she smacked him over the head with an umbrella, the maggots were a weak point so he worked on that part of his head until his head caved in, she had killed him twice. Now his blood was dripping into her kitchen sink and she had a funeral to arrange.

Alex ran out into the street.

"Kayleigh, I had to kill Tom again, help us with the body."

Kayleigh walked in and went pale

"That's Tom, so that's where he went."

"Yep"

Explained Alex, he was turning and came at me, so killed him, and then I buried him in the garden, and he got out,"

"Jesus Chirs, why didn't you tell anyone, we could have helped you."

Kayleigh and Alex pulled the rotting body out of the kitchen into the garden. Kayleigh noticed a tear in Alex's eye.

"Alex this must be horrible."

"Yes, I pictured our first kid playing on this lawn, I do have feelings, I'm just holding off until the end of this crap."

"I know, sweetie, I wish I was as brave as you."

I wish I was as nice as you."

Replied Alex.

"What the hell are we going to do with this?"

Asked Kayleigh.

"Give him a funeral, he was a good bloke, he deserves it."

Alex looked on her phone for a funeral director and rang, the rings stopped.

"Alex, I think you're in shock, we killed two people just now, and any non-zombies are doing the same, if we want to give Tom a funeral, we'll have to do it."

Alex wept tears that had been waiting to fall and hugged Kayleigh.

"It might be good for you,  and all of us."

Sue knocked on the front door, she was a neighbour.

"That's Tom, in the garden."

She was an older lady who Alex suspected was a bored woman who treated her neighbour's lives like her own, personal soap opera.

"Oh no Alex, I'm so sorry, only just married as well, how awful."

Saturday, 4 March 2017

A funeral for the living

I should wait until your body dies,
to arrange the funeral,
but your diamonds left your bones
a good few years ago
and your soul is at the bottom of
a cheap bottle of cider.

So I've had my funeral,
the one in my mind
any good memories have gone
because they were just all lies.
And you murdered love
and replaced it with PTSD.

And every day
is a toward to an early death
nothing will stop you
self-pity fuels you
and pushes you to the edge of life
and a rotting zombie stumbles back.

In your drama,
you wear the only crown of thorns
but we all wear them too
you ripped trust from your children
way too young
and pulled my heart from my chest.


Friday, 3 March 2017

Alternative facts

"What?"

Claire stood at her front door in her PJs totally confused at what the visitors were saying.

"We're very offended at what you tweeted, it's our opinion the world's flat and you're opinion it's a ball, and that's all it is, an opinion."

"How the hell did you find me?, I never use my real name"

Exclaimed Claire

"We have our ways"

said the hollow-eyed boy.

"So you're clever enough to find me on Twitter, but you can't work out the world is round, I'm confused."

It was a windy day, Claire was embarrassed to be caught in her night clothes.

"Guys, I'll get some clothes on and we'll talk"

Claire ran up the stairs and pulled some jeans and a jumper on and opened the door.

"OK come in"

Claire showed the teenagers to her kitchen in her downstairs flat and they all sat her small table.

"I'm "The truth Seeker and this is "God's child", remember the names.

"Yes"

Claire inwardly rolled her eyes

She looked at the green haired pixie-like girl who was shooting her looks across her kitchen table and the skinny, hooded teen. Claire wondered how these kids could find her on Twitter, find her house and then ask for a debate on the shape of the earth while keeping a straight face.

"We're offended, you said things that triggered us, we were both bullied at school."

Claire's mind worked in overtime, she looked at these two small teens and felt a little sorry for the ripe insults she'd typed.

"OK. I'm sorry about the insults, I didn't know how young you were, but the world is still round, that's just a fact."

"But the law's changed, what you did will be a hate crime soon, very soon."

Clair turned to her laptop to check what the teens were saying. The teens were right

"Minority views will be protected by law next year, soon you could appear in court for insulting people who believe in alternative truths"

The blood drained from Claire's face, this was madness in law.

"Can we go for a walk?" Asked Claire

"How can we trust you?"

Mumbled the boy.

"Look"

Said Claire,

"I'm a good person, I let you in, we've talked and this is my only day off work this week, I just want to show you something that's not on a screen."

Claire pulled on her boots and they walked down the suburban street, it was a windy day with clouds chasing each other. The clouds parted and Claire shouted,

"Look up"

There was an aeroplane trail that went straight up as if it was a rocket.

"Get in your house, they're spraying poison at us."

"What, no they're not, those are just very big exhaust fumes."

Exclaimed Claire.

"No look, it looks like a rocket, but when you went on holiday did it feel like you were going up like that?"

"No, because those are a projection"

Claire had run out of patience.

"Look, I'll just block you both and we'll have to agree to disagree."

The two teens nodded.

"And never come to my house again."

Claire walked back to her house and went on to her computer, she downloaded the Dark Net, the truth would always be more important than the law, and the earth would always be round.

The cliff.

You jump off a cliff,
every morning.
and stayed alive,
and wondering why.

Battered and bruised
the walking dead
an ex-person
with a shell
of paranoia and pain
you were too pissed to feel.

And you stole and stole
until everyone went
in a flat with the piss heads
who everyone else hates.

You wasted away
with bright yellow eyes,
looking closer to a corpse
with every bottle of cider
not even your kids miss you.

And soon you'll walk off the same cliff,
and the edge of the world,
and then you'll land dead
and we'll carry on.
A life that could have been.

Saturday, 25 February 2017

My Pet Ex



I used to pay for the crap you needed,
feed you,
pet you, tell you I loved you
even when you made me forget
what love can be,
and it's wasn't with you.

You are my pet ex,
and now you're feral
and I watch you mess up
half gleeful,
half pitying you.

And you'll play either
wounded animal
or knight on a horse,
you'll show some mug,
your big blue eyes
like a vicious dog
disguising yourself as a family pet.

In my mind, I'm dragging you around
on a lead you so desperately need.
I dream about you
in technicolor
and then wake up
relieved.





Sunday, 12 February 2017

Back at the Battleground

Kayleigh and Alex walked into chaos.

Bruce and his crew had bright green tee shirts on, they had slogans printed on them that said "Callum the Killer" "Bruce the Bruiser and other idiotic slogans. Heavy metal blasted from speakers and Kayleigh recognised the lyrics, they words were,

"If we sing along, a little fucking louder, to a happy song, I know I'll be ok."

It was one of her favourite songs before the disaster she would listen to it before work

Umbrellas and baseball bats were flying around and a vicious zombie kill was taking place.

Brenton was buzzing.

"Go lads, go"

He was shouting.

"Come into the office, we might have a deal ladies"

Kayleigh and Alex walked into the office, Lauren was already there, her twisted mouth had a small smile and for once her long, straight hair was pulled back from her pale face.

"I looked at the CCTV and ladies, even though you both killed two pillars of this office they were zombies"

"So we have our job back"

Asked Alex,

"Not quite, I want a number from you ladies."

"Oh yes"

"You've got Lauren to thank, I want the magic number from that phone,, what's his name, The Power Guy".

"I'll talk to Alex in private first."

Said Kayleigh, with unusual confidence.

"I thought you'd say that, so I have a deal"

Just then a zombie burst through the glass wall, Kayleigh and Alex killed him quickly and cleanly and dragged them out of the small office quickly.

"I know how good you are at killing the zombie thing so I made you some tee shirts and you can be in the second team of zombie killers."

Brenton proudly got some hen night, hot pink, Hen night polo shirts and in comic sans was written,

"Lady Killerz"

The three girls rolled their eyes in total unison.

"Look, Alex at the introductory  "Let's make friends ceremony you said your favorite colour's blue, so look what it says.

"Mental Murderer"

And Kayliegh, you've got that first aid certificate, so yours says"

Brenton held up the shirt proudly

"The Nurse"

And Alex, this is my favourite,

"Loopy Lauren"

"Now ladies, you'll be on the second team, cleaning up and second in line for defence."

"Look"

Shouted Lauren

Bruce came smashing through the glass, he roared in everyone's faces, Lauren, Alex and Kayleigh killed him.

Brenton looked pale,

"Well done ladies, sod it I need you, welcome back."

Techno now blasted through the floor, but nobody was dancing. Everyone was smacking each other.

Alex, Kayleigh and Lauren took charge

"Everyone calm down"

There were 3 more zombies who used to be on the phone. Alex turned to Brenton as snarled,

"They did a good job"

Brenton became quiet. Lauren sat down at her desk and opened a notebook, Brenton looked over her shoulder.

There were handwritten notes and diagrams, she started to write. Lauren was writing down patterns in the zombie's behaviour and trying to work out what people into zombies.

"Lauren that's a really good idea."

Said Brenton, Lauren was shocked at the praise and felt very uncomfortable with being praised by her boss.

"So what do you think it all means" asked Brenton.

Lauren shrugged her shoulders even though vivid 3 d pictures were forming in her mind and explanations were streaming to her.

Breton tried to understand,

"Lauren, you got you mates jobs back, you're making this book, I know how clever you are, you just need to talk to us, we're all on the same side now, and you look better with all that hair out of your face."

Praise from anyone in authority was incredibly unfamiliar, it was strange that someone in authority respected her because she had no respect for authority.

"And the number"

"Lauren said quietly, you need us, what can you do for us?"

Brenton walked off, and decided that love bombing may not work on Lauren and he would need another plan, he wanted this call centre to be the only branch listening to complaints about broken high heels and jeans that should have been ripped came perfect in the country, zombies may even bring promotion.








Thursday, 2 February 2017

A Holiday in The Sun

"And we have a few zombies out at "Coztford" so get those weapons ready if you're going to that lovely neck of the woods."

"Oh dear."

Growled Kayleigh's dad,

"We'll have to get Mad Micky to get his gun so we can get you back safely, Kayleigh, get on your moby".

Kayleigh rang Mad Mick and Alex felt a little better about her journey to the pretty village.

The weather carnage had finished and unfamiliar blue skies opened up. The car sped by zombies and people were just a movie through glass to Alex, a car journey with a large man and the lovely familiar Kayleigh made Alex feel safe, a feeling that was becoming rarer every day.

At the end of a path "Mad Mick" was stood with a long gun, the crew ran towards Mick as he flanked them while they walked up the muddy lane.  They got to the rambling farmhouse into a kitchen.

"Kayleigh, what happened"?

A large curly haired woman exclaimed

"Mum it was horrible, I had to kill Jenny

"She saved my life, she's great"

Alex talked with real emotion, and that had been rare since the disaster.

"Alex hasn't got anyone, can she stay for a bit?"

"Of course, she looks like she needs some love."
Kayleigh's dad interrupted
"But we've got the Smiths mob in the main bedroom, we can't feed all these people, or fit them all in."

""But cousin Billy feeds us!

"And I can pay my own way, I don't take up much room"

Alex interrupted.

"Well if you don't mind a corner and you give up some money you can stay."

Growled Kayleigh's dad.

A big family dinner fed Kayleigh's stomach and the company woke up her soul, Mad Mick kept this large tribe safe.




"Bloody hell Alex, it's 10 o clock"

Exclaimed Kayleigh.

Alex looked at her phone,

"There's a missed call from work"

And then Kayleigh looked at her phone,

"Me too".

"Alex you ring"

Alex looked around the small, spare room, the house felt full of refugees but happy refugees.  The family seemed so loving that now there was an emergency there was a loving crew around them.

"OK, said Alex, I'll ring work"

Alex was nervous as the soothing but banal hold music looped, eventually she got to talk.

"Hello Brenton"

Said Alex.

"Can you come in today?, I'm hoping Kayleigh will get back to me also".

Alex's mind whirred quickly, yes and no flipped through her mind,

"OK, I'll come in"

She pressed the screen on her mobile and looked at Kayleigh,

"Brenton wants to see you."

Sunday, 15 January 2017

The Battle of the Call Centre

Alex loathed the rain, a little more than she loathed another day in reality. It was the weather to shoot a horror movie, humid rain, lightening, bruise-colored skies and rain from a more primitive time.

Alex stretched, rubbed her eyes, had a shower and then straightened her unruly, short hair and then smoothed on her makeup.The ritual soothed her, she painted on pretty cheeks, painted on dainty sculpted eyes in a pretty, silvery pink.  In the chaos, makeup and hair always got ruined but a little feminine normality was therapy but normally never lasted, nothing lasted.

Before the disaster, an umbrella would have been a gadget to stop her face getting wrecked and her hair turning to short snakes but now an umbrella was a weapon. Alex opened the door and braced herself for another morning of killing creatures that were once souls.  A big ex-man roared in her face and with a controlled rage she smacked him across the face, and then again, and then again until he fell, and then while he was laid out on the ground she stabbed him through the torso.Alex had become twisted since the disaster, she was vegetarian just because eating dead animals seemed illogical and revolting and now she was killing random people and different, bloodthirsty ways.

Alex looked at her watch, she was early as ever as the journey to work became as unpredictable as a bad trip.She waited at the bus stop wondering if the fat, gross bus driver was now a zombie, Alex wondered how many faces that made up the wallpaper of her life were now crazed creatures. Alex had found an ancient part of her brain that was hyper focused on survival, noises were louder, colors brighter and time had become distorted. The lightening made the scene slightly more terrifying and her senses Alex's senses were slightly more alert. She saw a tiny, lit up figure from a long way, she scanned him for signs of being on her a zombie with a checklist, the walk looked good, she had a good, upright gait, there was no roaring and shouting and as she got closer she looked fine.

"Hello"

Said the woman. Alex looked the woman up and down.

"Hello"

Said Alex quietly.

"God, you look good".

"Thanks"

Alex replied.

Alex just wanted to survive alone, since her daily killing sprees her emotions had closed down. Getting to know people may mean a broken soul when normal people turned vicious.

"Mad isn't it".

The soft-skinned woman looked deeply scared, Alex tried to keep her emotion to a minimum.

"Fuck"

Shouted Alex,

"Zombie"

The women tried not to look in the woman's eyes and started to pummel her. Blood and organs splatter on the road. The women did a grim high five as they looked at the ex-woman.

"Poor thing"

Said the woman.

"No"

Said Alex,

"get any ideas that you did anything wrong out of your head, she didn't have a life, she was just a monster, she's an ex-person."

The bus came and the women were relieved it was being driven by a gross bus driver and the rain-sodden faces were averagely depressed and ugly. Alex and the pretty young woman got on the bus quickly and the doors slammed behind them and they both could breathe.

The lightning got worse as Alex had to get off the bus and make the now horrendous journey to the office. She brandished her umbrella and stayed alerted on the short journey to the tacky red brick building that housed hundreds of workers. The trip was uneventful other than the horror movie rain.
Alex ran into the building and shouted,

"Hello".

She looked over to the security guard who to her horror now had a dripping face. This kill was essential but would be difficult. Bob was a small constant in her life, a gossip buddy, a person to talk through her problems with illogical people and a good laugh. She tried to run past Bob so she wouldn't need to slaughter him but he ran towards her so in an emotional quandary she killed Bob with her umbrella.

Alex felt tears in her eyes but then remembered her own advice, Bob wasn't human anymore.Nobody had a cure for these zombies, they could be your mum, dad, best friend or lover once they turned it was your duty to kill them. Alex buried all emotions and then with a huge flash of lightening the lights went out.

It took a few minutes for the green emergency lights to come on, once they sparked to light Alex ran up the stairs. The office had started to empty out since the disaster and Alex wasn't sure why she kept making the potentially lethal trip to work but it was a ritual like makeup and hair, work was normality. The lights were still an eerie, emergency green but the phones and computers were powered by a generator so the day went on.

After the short ritual of logging into her phone and getting through passwords, the beep came.

"I'm furious, the driver came with my interview clothes and he only had half a face, why do you employ those useless zombies?"

Alex sometimes felt she had nothing to say to these calls. She went to her updates page on the screen to see what the latest script was and purred

"I'm so sorry for any inconvenience, it must have been very distressing".

"Do you think I give a shit about those stupid zombies? I've got an interview, my office is full of those idiots."

"I just need to pull up your details"

Alex wanted to shout or laugh at the caller but Alex kept her relaxed but authoritative tone

"Can I have your postcode, please?"

"Yes, it's SE14 4LQ"

The caller's voice dripped with sarcasm and spite, Alex carried on with the call calmly.

"Thanks, now I can help you."

"Fucking useless zombies are everywhere you know, they're like a disease, I love killing them, doing the government's job for them."

The caller got irate as Alex asked her details.

Alex looked up and her boss was staring at her with yellow eyes and a bloodied face and a very crazed look. Her friend beat Jenny with and umbrella while Alex called the delivery company.

"Kayleigh, thanks so much, I know how much you hate killing".

Kayleigh went to hug Alex, Alex hesitated then realized she needed the human contact, so with her mind on full alert she took some much needed human contact.

Alex's work-mates looked at Alex and Kayleigh with shocked faces.

"We had to" Said Kayleigh

Just then, they green lights, the glow of the computers and the office went dark, the generator was only designed to power the building for a few minutes. Thunder rumbled outside and lightening illuminated panicked faces for a few seconds and room that was full of voices and activity was full of petrified people.

"There's no security guard"

Shouted Alex. The next flash of lightning showed true horror on peoples' faces.

"I'll guard the door, Kayleigh, come with me."

Kayleigh and Alex walked to the door and brandished their brollys.

"Someone, text the power guy while I guard".

Shouted Alex.

Kayleigh handed over her phone. The "power guy" was a retired engineer who could get the power back on, his real identity was a mystery but Kayleigh had this man's phone number. The account manager shouted over to Alex,


"Alex I'm in charge".

A boo went up, Alex felt nervous, she had gone above her position.

"Alex and Kayleigh know what they're doing"

A flash of lightning lit up Lauren's face and the manager had nothing to say.

Alex shouted,

Get your weapon line up, they're coming".

Brolly's and baseball bats and rackets came out and the zombies lolloped up the stairs,

"Get ready"

Shouted Alex and Kayleigh together.

Alex picked of zombies and killed them in various ways, the ones who got past were killed by Kayleigh and Lauren and a few were killed by the manager. The attack was at last over.

"Lauren, you're hard, help me move these bodies."

Shouted Alex.,

"Ladies"

"
Shouted the site manager Brenton shouted

"I'll do that with Bruce.".

Alex was relieved that someone else was doing something, and that someone else would have to smell death and look at internal organs and shudder at the half lives last expression on their faces.

"Sexist bastard"

Whispered Lauren.

"Yes, but we can't do everything"

Whispered Alex. Lauren nodded.

The main lights flashed on, the "power guy" had done his job .

"That's amazing"

Exclaimed Brenton,

" I think we're the only branch still going".

"Back on the phones people, apart from Kayleigh and Alex"

Everyone looked a little pale other than Bruce and and his gang who had large blacks in their eyes and excited expressions.

Kayleigh and Alex looked at each other and followed Breton into the office,.

"Take a seat ladies, we need words".

"Between you, you've murdered Jenny and Bob, what do you have to say for yourselves?"

"They were zombies "

Said Alex,

"Bob was about to kill me and Kayleigh saved my life."

"You can't stay here, not until I've seen the CCTV,"

"But we saved so many people just now."

Exclaimed Kayleigh,

"Not with my permission"

answered Brenton.

"I want a specialist team of super killers"

Brenton walked over to a flip chard and showed the girls a chart,

"There's Bruce, Matt, Callum and Brian, they're be doing the killing."

"But we're good"

Exclaimed Alex.

The girls had to walk down the stairs in silence, as they got outside to the now peaceful day and emotions spewed out like organs from a zombie.

"For fucks sake, we got there first, we were good"

Kayleigh gave Alex a hug, Alex needed the hug but wanted to pull away,

"Kayleigh, I've got nothing else, I hate that bloody job, it's all I have".

"Fuck, zombie"

Shouted Alex. The girls brandished their brollies and killed yet another zombie.

"Where do I go?"

Alex almost made a tear.

"My house, my dad will pick us up"

Alex nodded, she couldn't be bothered to speak.

Alex felt hugged in the car, Kayleigh's dad looked like a bear, zombie forecasts were read out on the car radio by a moronic sounding, happy DJ. Kayleigh watched the sun come out as the car left the city.