The Monkey

Is your brain an ordered  library with a strict librarian in control? Or is it more like a zoo full of escaped animals. If my mind was a library the stern, smartly dressed librarian is hiding under a table and various, strange creatures are roaring and shouting and ruining my day. The creatures make me feel different form well dressed, together women, I'm simply a different breed, I'm a little fidgety, a bit immature and very random. 

The boss of the animals that rampage around my brain is the monkey. It  runs around  causing chaos. This money is only about a foot tall but it can be everywhere at once, it tells my brain I don't need sleep, the monkey wants chocolate, social media, to fidget with everything and wants to tell everyone what I really think of them all at once and sod the consequences. The monkey wants love from social media but can't be bothered to call my real friends, it wants trainers, it wants shiny things and no amount of anything is ever enough.

You would have a guess a monkey is in control, I blank out, change the subject in confusing ways, fidget and I never look like I'm listening. The grown up me can shut the monkey up and The Librarian can crawl out form under the table to keep the animals in order and I can behave like a normal grown up. 

At other times The Monkey gets determined, it sees I want to improve but it hisses at me "If you cage me, you cage yourself". It takes over and messes up anything I try to do, it forgets things, it distracts me from the easiest task, it loses jobs, keys and my self esteem soon disappears as well as my dreams.

This Monkey is childish, it's a pest, but it has endless ideas and energy. This creature runs around the library of my brain getting a book from here, a page from there ideas get together in new ways. The Monkey thinks up random solutions to normal issues. This creature is brave, it jumps in cold seas because it seems like a good idea, it wants me to fly down hills on my bike a little too fast. This chattering creature talks to people because it's hyper curiosity trumps shyness. Some even find the monkey charming, it's certainly funny, it makes connections, it says the truth in twisted ways. 

On a good day the monkey dreams up a crazy blog or tells me taking a picture of a building site and the edit it with trippy colours is a good idea. The creature tells me to not take a pretty selfie but one in a creepy mask. The monkey can even help me at work when I need to deal with four things at once with a smile. The monkey gives me guts and energy, the monkey makes me quirky and fun. 

So is the monkey an emery and a friend? The Monkey is not good for anyone's self esteem but it's fun, it's creative, it makes people with ADHD fun and unique. The problem is life is tough with a wild monkey running around my head...

https://www.additudemag.com/neuroscience-of-adhd-brain/

https://adhd-institute.com/burden-of-adhd/epidemiology/gender/

https://www.additudemag.com/slideshows/benefits-of-adhd-to-love/